See what you've done

So to give this a bit of context I was 18 when my parents separated my parents had been married for almost 20 years and my Mum Discovered my Dad was having an affair with his personal assistant. I had only just started to develop my gift of writing at this stage and what I wrote was normally lovey dovey crap to appease some girl whose name I wouldn’t remember the next day.  After my Dad moved out he told us he was living in a motel then he was staying with friends, the truth was he was living with his personal assistant. She had 3 young girls and I have 3 younger sisters, for those of you who can’t see where this is going my Dad pretty much swapped one family for the other. They all called him Dad and he gave them whatever they wanted and we had to fight for the time of day. I got a message today from one of her daughters saying her Mum was after Dad’s address so she could send him the divorce papers.

This for me helped to exercise a lot of personal demons it helped me to vent about the way I see my Dad and the things he has done since him and my mum divorced which was over a decade ago now. A friend encouraged me to send this to my Dad and the following email correspondence resulted in us not speaking to each other for nearly 2 years. I do love my Dad despite his flaws and everything that has happened between us, but I don’t see him as my Dad more as a friend who I can enjoy a beer with. 

I wrote a lot as an angry 18 year old whose parents had just separated on less that happy circumstances, this was by far the most effective way for me to express my disappointment and on the odd occasion sheer bewilderment of what my Dad had done and to grasp how he could leech from one life to the next without a second thought as to what could possibly go wrong or who he could hurt.

See What You’ve Done

You have hurt more people than you know your choices have a ripple effect that you have chosen not to see. Not that you’re bothered by that as long as your little world remains untouched and stays nice and neat you’re pleased. You have done more damage than a man with a gun and taken more lives in your path of destruction that a nuclear bomb. Can’t you see what you have done?

Hurt so many for personal gain and then wonder why your all alone again. I’ve watched you change from a man to a monster and back in no time at all. Your disguise may fool most but not all turn around and look can’t you see what you’ve done?  

Built your little world of fact and fiction not caring for a moment because the people in your life are interchangeable you can swap them out whenever you like just like you’re playing with lego and just find the piece that fits it’s almost like to you were just filling in empty space. It’s Not to late you can still turn back and see what you’ve done?

Spinning your web of lies and deceit so many people have been caught up in. So much so that they can’t tell the facts from your fiction you more than anyone have succumbed and been taken in. It’s not to late turn around and look can’t you see what you’ve done?  

I know you can you just don’t want to looking back would mean you care it would mean care it would mean you’re sorry and clearly you’re not it would mean you can see the damage you have done the pain you caused. Now I know your vision is not just blurred but your entrenched by yourself pity self loathing and self serving nature. After all this I’m sorry not for me but for you because once a long time ago I was proud to call you dad